AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:06:00 AM ----- BODY: This blog is now located at __FTP_MIGRATION_NEW_URL__. You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click here. For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to __FTP_MIGRATION_FEED_URL__. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 3:25:00 AM ----- BODY:

Overnights almost over.. DSL issues..

I'm home on lunch right now and I'm done work at 7 this morning. This is my last of six straight nights in a row of overnights. I've been up all night and sleeping all day. Somewhere in there I've not had the energy to write in this blog much. It has gotten progressively busy all week. It started out as just me for three days, then two of us for the next three. It's been so busy, today on the 6th day, that a third person is staying until it calms down. We have no idea when that will be, but I'm only there until 7 no matter what. My DSL has been crapping out on me for a week or so and today I took the time to rewire things a bit. I think that fixed it up nicely. It's bad for VoIP when the connection drops once every hour or two randomly. As you know I have that toll free number (1-877-890-7126) over VoIP. I saw something kind of cool at work the other night. Pre-paid toll free numbers. It was like $9.90 for 100 incoming minutes directed at any phone you choose. I had never seen such a thing, but it was interesting to think a person can drop $10 on a card and get a toll free number just like that. Granted I get unlimited incoming and outgoing with my number, but it's still a cool thought. I know a lot of people stop visiting my site if I go too long without updating, but that's what happens when I work an odd schedule. After Christmas I'll be back to a 7-4 type of schedule that won't deviate much from morning hours. To be honest all I'd ever talk about anyway is my undying desire to get the hell out of this house and MA in general. My Mom has begun to have friends over and one aspect of that kind of got in our way, but she's an adult who's free to do as she pleases. We are also adults and are trying to do what we please. Unfortunately it's not something we can do yet. If only I could get an advance on my tax check from someone. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 5:59:00 PM ----- BODY:

Family visit.. Interesting night.. Snow on its way..

Oh look it's a three part title today. I'd say it's to make up for missing a few days, but it's not. I've been spending time with my Brother, his wife and three kids. We took 9 people to Dennys for the first time since our nights out with friends in the past. We all went to Wally World afterwards and that was a big deal too. It's a big store and it was pretty busy at one in the afternoon so it was tough to keep everyone together. I spent some time with my Brother at the local pub and we stopped to the bookstore before that. It was a very nice visit and I'm glad they came. On that note my Uncle said he was coming this weekend (said that last weekend too) and he didn't. I'm glad, because I have nothing to say to him. He and I really have nothing in common and we have our own things going on. He should just stay in NH. Last night I worked overnight (working 6 days overnight this week) and at 2:30 AM the lead singer of Staind (Aaron Lewis) came through my register. He was kind of short and not too talkative. I guess I can see why, he came in late to avoid people. As he was walking away from me I told him they need to release an album like their first and he said it was coming. I haven't been much of a fan of theirs since their first album about five years ago. Once they disovered they could make a good living off of softer stuff they stuck with it. I liked their hard stuff in the beginning. Hopefully that hard album is coming, I'd like that.

As you can see above, Springfield is right on the rain/snow line. The forecast is for snow and we're right at 32 now. They say it'll be 1-3 inches, but who knows? Either it's difficult to predict or they're just bad weathermen because they're wrong fairly often. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:04:00 PM ----- BODY:

Deep freeze is over.. Overnights..

The deep freeze of the past few days is over now. It had been between 9 and 12 degrees for a few nights. It feels funny to say that 34 is warm, but it is compared to 9. I have been out in it a few times and it doesn't feel too bad. Last night when I went to return our bottles it was very cold and raw out. For the most part I can tolerate the cold, but there are times when it chills me pretty badly. Starting Saturday night I'll be doing 11-7 shifts overnight at the biggest retailer in the US. I won't say their name because I don't want to infringe on any copyrights or anything of that nature. I've been feeling tired really early for a while now so I think the first overnight shift will be tough. It should be pretty easy, but I just know there will be some needless BS added to the situation. It seems that when things should be left alone they're not. I know that I'll hate staying up overnight when I'm doing it, but the paycheck will be well worth it. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:16:00 PM ----- BODY:

Blogger downtime.. Still cold and still thinking..

Well last night when I tried to publish my post it gave me an error. That error persisted through most of today and they fixed the problem. That happens from time to time, but I usually have the post saved so I can publish it when all is okay. It is about 14 degrees right now and it gets me wishing I was in Florida even more. It didn't get above freezing at any point today and it's obviously not that cold in FL. I can handle this weather, but I don't like it. I guess that's how the heat will be down south. I can handle that but I probably won't like the worst of it. We're still thinking of ways to get there sooner, but nothing seems possible right now. It's looking like I'll just have to endure a few months of pushing carts to get 6 months in and transfer. At this point we'll do whatever it takes. Unfortunately it's all I can think about these days. I'm thinking right now about how I felt the first time we moved to FL. How I felt sad leaving this place and my friends behind. I honestly don't think it'll feel anything like that this time around. I will be happy to live a life far from here. As long as I have my family I'm happy. I'll make friends anywhere I go. Chris is a good friend but we're adults with lives to live. We each must choose how we want to live. I'm choosing Florida as soon as possible. He chooses MA and that's fine, but I can't stay for him. He knows that. I need to think about something else. It reminds me of thinking about Christmas as a kid. I'd think about it so far ahead that it seemed like it would never come. It always did and this will too. Soon I hope. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:24:00 PM ----- BODY:

Cold weather's here..

As you can see it's quite cold here right now. It's only 18 now, but it might get colder as the night goes on. We're apparently getting a cold snap because of the jet stream pulling the cold Canadian air down. It even extends as far south as Florida, residents there face a freeze warning tonight. I had today off and I slept in and enjoyed my time with Alex and Deb. We went to the store briefly but otherwise hung around the house. After writing the post yesterday I cried for a while and felt really depressed. I'm thinking about getting my A+ certification if it'll help me land a better job. We'll see how that goes. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:09:00 PM ----- BODY:

Learning to just shut up and take it..

All my life I've always been outspoken and stood up for myself or my friends when I felt necessary. I could never see myself sitting back letting things happen if I thought they shouldn't. I have no problem with bosses or authority, but I've never let them treat me unfairly. I believe if you stand up for what is truly right you can't go wrong. That's why I could always challenge authority, because I believed I was right. What I'm talking about boils down to small things because I haven't lived an important life thus far. I'm just your average guy working day after day for that check that will never make me rich. I started as a cart pusher at a grocery store. It was pretty embarrassing but it was a job. You learn something about humility in a position like that. You see everyone looking down on you and you suck it up and move on. Your pride takes a hit, but you live because you know it's not a permanent thing; it can't be. I eventually worked up to a cashier and then made a lateral move to the courtesy desk. After five years at that job I worked as an entry level security guard and at a few call centers. That's how I got to where I am working for the largest retail store in the US. It is still not what you could call a respected job, it's a few steps above fast food. Since I started with this retail giant I've proven myself to be very capable and I've brought a lot to the table. I helped build the store for five weeks and have trained for whatever department I could since we opened. I know a good deal about how this all works. Lately I've been feeling depressed about how things are going. I guess there's no way to say this without it coming across as needless whining, but I've come full circle. Because several cart pushers have quit I find myself out there feeling those old feelings. The only problem is that I'm 25 years old now and they feel magnified. I graduated high school 8 years ago and I'm now pushing carts. It feels awful, there's no other way to put it. What am I going to do? Not my usual, I'm going to shut up and take it. I have no other choice in the matter. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:16:00 PM ----- BODY:

Good long day at work today..

Today I spent most of the day in the layaway department and I had fun. The store keeps 10-15 full size trailers out back to store customers layaway orders and we were getting people's orders out for them. It involves finding them, which at night means you need a flashlight. We had a good team of three guys just getting a lot of orders done. When we started there was a huge line and it went away pretty quickly. It feels good when you do a good job and have a good time doing it. I ended up staying late working 9:30 to 8:00. I'm really tired and cannot control my yawning. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:18:00 PM ----- BODY:

Odd work hours.. Approved for Adsense..

This week I'm working hours that feel odd to me. I had been going in at 6 or 7 most mornings and all this week I'll be going in no earlier than 9:30. It's good that I get to sleep more, but tonight I'm tired earlier because of last week. Of course next week is the overnight week and I just found out I get $2 an hour differential. I'll be making a quarter short of $12 an hour for a week. I don't mind the overnights because the shifts I get are going to range from mornings to nights anyway. I'm sure I'll be on until 11 or midnight some times. I take it as it is, I'm available all day so I get scheduled all day. Just a day or so after putting in an application to join Google's pay-per-click ad service I got accepted. I get what has so far been over 10 cents a click so guys keep clicking those ads! Also you can search the web or content of this page from the search bar on the right. On the results page if you click those ads I get something for that as well. It was showing ads for a holiday that passed in November (if I say the word it'll pick up on it and show those ads). Ads trigger off what I write about. For instance if you go back and look at old months archives you see ads targeted to things I wrote about. Back in December of last year I worked at Cingular and they had us working on 19" flat screen monitors. Ads showed according to that. I'm really into VoIP (Voice Over IP) but I have no idea if ads for that will show. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:31:00 PM ----- BODY:

Working overnights.. Google adsense..

The week of Christmas our store will be open 24 hours. It went from 7 AM to 11 PM, 6 to midnight, and now this. Luckily there are only 24 hours in the day so it can't go up from here. :) I volunteered to work the overnight shift that week as the only cashier. I had some experience at Stop & Shop working overnights a week at a time a few times. I guess what I'm doing is trying to make myself look good for a transfer. With my luck they'll be offering me supervisor positions before I get a chance to transfer down to FL. A big reason I wanted to work overnight is because a lot of the stores in FL are over 24 hours year round. I put in an application to host Google ads on my site as an experiment. I saw the idea on Blogger when going there to post and decided I'd give it a try. I don't think I get enough visitors to make much money, but if I get accepted you can all click a million ads each. :) Instead of just whining about my situation I'll try to do anything that might help. I'm already getting raises at work, why not try other methods of making more money? Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:09:00 PM ----- BODY:

Crazy New England weather.. Still leaning towards Florida..

For two days prior to today we got some snow and freezing rain. Today it was over 50 degrees with a little rain early and all the snow is gone. That just seems to be how it is here. Here we are in December and we can't seem to get snow that stays. It's 45 degrees right now and that seems a bit warm for an early to mid December evening. After that long post about our past mistakes and what the choices are for us I'm still leaning towards moving to Florida when we can. This may not be for a few months (depending on the tax check we get) or longer, but it's what I really would like to do. When I went to show my Mom what my Uncle was all upset about (this page) she caught a glimpse of me talking about moving to Florida. I hadn't mentioned it because it's not a sure thing yet. Obviously a lot of things have to go just right to make it possible. I told her how we felt and that nothing was final yet. If Deb had a job there and we had a way for the baby to be watched (me at home, friends or family) while Deb worked I would move as soon as we got the money (taxes). I don't know if any of this is possible yet. The big thing for me is for Deb and I both to live a normal life. She never gets out of the house and I think she'd be able to do that in Florida. I really don't think this is how my wife wants to live forever. I'm not putting down full time Moms, but Deb doesn't even have space with which to raise Alexandra. A lot of things aren't as they should be and we're grasping at every idea out there to find a way back to a normal life. What's normal? More than a room or two to live in, a working washer and dryer, living space that is safe, and a reasonable living temperature. I don't think these things are too much to ask for, but they're proving hard to manage right now. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:54:00 PM ----- BODY:

Part Two: My Uncle..

I felt that I had so much to say that I should separate this post into two posts. Since the posts around the holiday my Uncle has been reading this and getting upset with me. They say the truth hurts and I'm sorry that it does. I write about my life and try to leave details out about other people because I'm not trying to anger others. My Uncle used to be a fun guy to hang around with. When I was a kid we'd wrestle and he had a kickass sense of humor. He had his issues (which I eluded to and he picked up on it and got angry), but he used to be a good Uncle. He still has his issues as we all do, but he stopped caring about me. He tells me I don't call enough, but he never calls when it matters. When I was moving and needed his truck he couldn't make it and couldn't call to say so. When he comes down on the weekend he escapes in the middle of the night after making plans for breakfast with me in the morning. He comes and sees that my Mom is not going out and leaves. I make plans with him after work but he's not there when I get out. He has his reasons for making the trip down here and none of them are hanging out with his nephew. He has hurt my feelings so many times he deserves to know how it feels. So I talked about you on my website, get over it. No one reads this and even if they do, they don't know you so you have nothing to get upset about. Stop text messaging me and don't make plans to come here because I'll make plans not to be here and I'll keep those. Thanks for everything.. until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:22:00 PM ----- BODY:

Part One: Seeking happiness..

A lot of ideas have been running through my mind lately. They range from staying here, going to Florida, or even going to Maryland. Long before Alexandra came into our lives we were seeking happiness and the right situation. Our travels took us from that cozy little one bedroom in Chicopee, to the overpriced two bedroom in Agawam, to the bad job and defective apartment in Orange Park, FL, and finally to my Mom's house. I love my Mom, but we're not really happy here. We feel that we can do better and we're trying to figure out how. After years of living on our own we want that again. In this journal I go on rants and write about every whim I have. If I feel like moving to Colorado one day I'll write it here. That doesn't mean I'm moving to Colorado (just an example). It means that's how I'm feeling at that very moment. The truth is that I don't care where I live, just as long as it's the right situation. We're a young married couple trying to juggle jobs and a baby. The reality is that my job alone won't pay the bills, but my job won't let me work certain defined hours so Deb can work part time when I'm home. I have no idea when I'll be home and you can't schedule a job around that. Here in MA we live in this house and Deb stays home. We don't have a lot of space and what is here is very cold in the winter. Alexandra is starting to want to crawl, but there isn't anywhere here for her to do that. My Mom has her own life going on and isn't able to babysit so Deb can work. I don't mind winter at all, but I wouldn't mind leaving it either. This was a good temporary solution, but we need a good permanent situation. In the six months I lived down in FL I didn't mind it (wasn't there for summer) but I got into the wrong job and we moved into the wrong apartment. The job was telemarketing (not originally) and the apartment had a lot of problems. Deb was sick half the time and her best friend was hurt a lot of that time as well. Things just weren't as they should've been so I hold out hope that it would be different if we went back. The summer would still be oppressive, but like heat in the winter we'd have AC down there. It has dawned on me that Deb's Mom has things to do and wouldn't be able to babysit either so I don't know what we'll do. The idea to move to Maryland seems good, but there are even issues there. It would be a situation where my Brother and I help each other out. His wife is getting her college degree and would love to hit the workforce, but they have three kids. One of them is a baby and if we were there Deb could help watch the baby while Chasity (my Brother's wife) worked. In exchange my Brother would do his best to help us get settled and Chasity would watch Alexandra while Deb worked. The problem with that is that Deb would be watching two babies 8+ hours a day and then working afterwards. It's tough enough with one and after talking she realizes this scenario would be difficult for her. I honestly don't blame her. I just don't know what we'll do, but we have to figure something out... -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:56:00 PM ----- BODY:

Christmas shopping..

I've always said that Christmas is too much about money and material things than it should be. Working retail I see just how much stuff people are buying. I guess it's good that people are giving, but it has taken meaning away from the holiday. It is a religious holiday at its core, but at the very least you can use it as a reason to spend time with your family. It's really just another shopping holiday. It's interesting to step back and look at what things become. Easter is a religious holiday that is just about candy for the most part now. I think you should love and appreciate your friends and family and give gifts whenever you want, not certain days when they're expected. I'm really just tired and ranting on about nothing. I get tired so early now, I feel like an elderly man these days. I better go eat my prunes now. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:45:00 PM ----- BODY:

My 90 day evaluation..

Well today went by really fast and it seemed that they might not have time to get my evaluation in before I left. At 2:00 PM my boss came over and turned my light off. I asked why and she said it was for my evaluation. It was pretty quick overall. I was told that I have done everything right and I've exceeded what is merely required of my position. I knew all of this, as cocky as that may sound. I was surprised to be told that I was named the store's first Cashier of the Month and given the highest possible raise. I had set out in the beginning to get that bigger raise because I knew what I was capable of. I believe that I deserve it, but thought being sick and missing a couple of days put that in question. I am a very emotional person and when I feel bad about something I tend to want to do anything to remedy the way I feel. Part of wanting to move to FL so quickly was feeling a bit lost at my job and just wanting to get away from it. I had been sick and felt that everything I worked for was gone because of it. Knowing that it didn't end up happening that way I'm in no hurry to move to FL. We planned to move from here to a house when we could afford it and we still want to, but in FL. The fact is that I won't find a job that pays as much as I get paid now and no one's going to do me any favors. I still want to raise my daughter down south and I still want to live down there, but it's going to be a longer process than anticipated. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:48:00 PM ----- BODY:

A big day tomorrow..

Today as I was getting my coat after punching out I walked by the guy in charge of the front end of the store in which I work. He asked me if I was coming back from lunch and I said no, that I was leaving for the day. When I said that I had already punched he asked if I was in tomorrow. I said yes and he replied that we'll do my "review" tomorrow. I had heard that they were doing 90 day evaluations now and I know that's what it is. There are three ways it could end up. They're basically "Very Good", "Good", and "Poor". For the lowest you get no pay raise, for the middle you get a pay raise, and a slightly higher pay raise for the best. I thought that the boss that I have a good working relationship with was doing them, but that may not be the case. If the bigger boss who is hardly ever around does the review it may not be as favorable. He doesn't see all that I do for the store on a daily basis and I highly doubt the results of the review can be challenged. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:49:00 PM ----- BODY:

Nice voicemail from a relative.. The way back to FL..

Yesterday I got a voicemail on my cell phone from my Uncle Jay (no-show on Thanksgiving, that Uncle). I knew it was from him so I didn't check it for a while. In fact it may've even been from the day before, I don't care. The point is that I checked it late last night and heard the first few seconds before I deleted it. He claims that he never "solidified" plans to come here for the holiday. I guess now family needs to say they'll come and RSVP after that or something. We never received his "confirmation" so that meant he wasn't really coming. As far as I'm concerned he stopped being an Uncle when I was a young kid. He comes down here from NH for one reason mainly and I'm not going to say what that is on here. Aside from that he says he comes to see my Mom. I really like his wife, but he's never cared a bit about me or seeing me when he "visits". If I have to do like my Mom has with other family and disown him, I will. I've been thinking and talking to people at work and I've decided that it'll just be easier to transfer down to Florida in my current job. I talked to a girl who transferred from Virginia to our store and she said it's very easy to do. Combine that with our tax money and maybe Erica can get Deb a job at the radio station. I'm not counting on that, we haven't even asked, but you never know? It would make it all possible to do. We could get a place and have jobs. If a more rural store would take me we could look to live out closer to Erica. We'll have to investigate everything and make it happen. I was sick and missed a few days. Those count as occurrences and they roll off after six months. Knowing that, if we waited until May I'd have no marks against me going to a new store. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 12:07:00 PM ----- BODY:

Finally got some sleep.. Missed a few days..

I know there are about 15+ people who read this each day and it seems that I miss days after I find out more people I know are stopping by. Sunday night and last night I was really tired and couldn't even think of a few lines to put up on here. I started working 6-3 shifts and I wake up around 4:30 or 5 in the morning. It all depends if I need to shave or not. Last night I think I went to bed at 9 or so and woke up at 5 but went back to sleep. I needed a little extra for once. I have today and tomorrow off so I'll be able to do that. I would see if Chris wanted to go out one of these nights, but I already know how that will go. I will try to think of more things to talk about on here so that I don't run out of ideas. Alex is doing very well and we plan to send Christmas cards out with some pictures of her in them. So far my Grandmother and Deb's Mom are on that list. Feel free to put a comment on here to be added to it. We're printing the pictures out ourselves inexpensively so cost isn't a big issue. If I don't know your address send it to scott AT whythehell.com. You know that's an '@' sign where AT is. :) If I put my actual e-mail address on here it will get picked up by so many spambots it wouldn't even be funny. I was thinking about doing a VoIP blog, but my current audience most likely doesn't care about that at all. I've talked about it a lot and it's basically just an inexpensive way to get long distance by using the internet to carry your phone calls. I have the next two days off so I'll be home. Through VoIP I have a toll free number, it is 1-877-890-7126. It's free from any phone (payphones too) in the US. I've never put my number on here and I doubt anyone will call, but if you do.. talk! I hate when people call and don't talk. Feel free to *71 (caller ID block) if you want, I'm just curious to see if anyone calls. If too many people call I'll remove the number, but I doubt that will happen. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:11:00 PM ----- BODY:

Talk about an odd e-mail address.. Deb's Mom went home..

Today I signed up for a free @budweiser.com e-mail address. Back when the free e-mail boom happened I reserved my username at each and every site that offered an e-mail address. I stumbled upon a discussion at DSL Reports in which they mentioned the Budweiser address. I guess it's kind of a neat novelty address. I sent a test e-mail and it seems to work pretty quickly. They insert a disclaimer on all sent e-mail and they say you must be 21 years of age to use it. Deb dropped her Mom off at the airport this morning after spending a week up here. We didn't end up getting any snow for her trip, but she got her fair share of cold. I'm glad she came for Thanksgiving and I can honestly say it was better than it would've been without her. In the interest of being honest and knowing that she reads this, I do have one thing to say. She's not the only one who's ever done this, but Deb and I don't like all the bad grammar she uses to talk to Alex. This alone wouldn't be a big deal if we didn't see the exact same bad grammar in one of her other grandchildren who she spent a great deal of time with as a baby. Babies can't talk yet but they do listen, it's how they learn to talk. It's one thing to talk high pitched, but we always talk in correct english to her so she'll learn it that way. It's just one small thing we choose to do when raising our child. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:19:00 PM ----- BODY:

How do I say this politely?

Chris is my best friend and I like hanging out with him. We can sit there with a few beers and make a good time out of nothing at all. We're both just easy going and get along together very well. I honestly can't remember the last time he and I have argued. Tonight we had plans to buy some cheap beer and just hang out at his Dad's house. We didn't have a ton of money to waste going out but we wanted to do something. No harm in having a few beers and sitting around. What I'm trying to get at here is how all this did not end up happening. I could simply say "his girlfriend" but there's a story behind it. Chris had told his girlfriend prior to tonight that he wanted to just have a few beers at his Dad's house with me. She wasn't fond of being without him for a few hours, but was trying to come to terms with it. Tonight she gets angry over it again and decides to go to a relative's house while we're drinking by ourselves. Chris went to drop her off and come back but that never happened. He came back with her and called to say she had to be there and we're getting different beer (what she wants). I politely told him I'd rather stay home. This sounds like Chris is just whipped (he is) but it's more. His girlfriend can be perfectly nice or angry at any moment. She switches between them randomly and without notice. She is angry most of the time, but can be nice on occasion. I do not like to be yelled at by anyone, especially her and for no reason. I think she may be undiagnosed bipolar. I wish she'd seek treatment because it's affecting Chris and his ability to hang out with me. There's no polite way to say "I don't like being around you, so I won't be coming over tonight." I'm an adult and I can choose who to be around in my free time. I do not choose her, it's too stressful and angry around her. This all just bothers me and if she reads this she'll be angry with me, but I fully expect it. Nothing I've said is wrong in any way, I just had to get it off my chest. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:15:00 PM ----- BODY:

A Happy Thanksgiving after all..

Well I woke my Mom up at 10 AM (less than 4 hours of sleep for her) and she was grumpy but we got things started. Besides forgetting to buy an aluminum roasting pan, everything pretty much went off without a hitch. As expected my Uncle did not show up and didn't even have the decency to call and let us know. I ate so much potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes, and stuffing that I barely had room for turkey. It's all leftovers now, but it'll get eaten. It was just the five of us, but it was a very good meal. Tonight after we all settled down and came back upstairs I changed the biggest poopy diaper ever. Alex had a gone a while without a big one and made up for it just then all at once. It's funny how when we all know it's going to be huge, it's magically my turn! :) I don't mind it, but it was like a "four wipe" one. It's all part of being a father. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Tomorrow's Black Friday so I'll be quite busy. I'll write more after work tomorrow.. until then.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:42:00 PM ----- BODY:

A Thanksgiving that may or may not be..

This years Thanksgiving could be a great day with relatives from up north and down south, or.. it could be a shell of that. My Aunt and Uncle from New Hampshire are known for not always showing up when they say they will. My Mom is known for not always waking up when going out the night before. Yes, she is out tonight. That is the first piece of the puzzle. My Mom will stay awake until at least 6 AM and my Uncle will call to say they're not coming. Why? Because that's how my family is. My Brother is in Maryland and he knows how it is. This is why we don't usually do holidays. Deb's Mom is up from Florida and if things go as I think they will, she'll learn all about the ways of this family. It's funny because when I was a kid we used to drive four hours up north to have a grand feast with lots of relatives. There was the kids table I was stuck at for years and the adults table I dreamed about every year. It was that unattainable goal that meant I was grown up. The last year we went up north I finally sat at the adults table and it was great. I really miss those days. Now I just have to accept the way things are. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:53:00 PM ----- BODY:

Springfield, MA - 18th most dangerous city

According to a report released by a group called Morgan Quitno our city is in the top 25 most dangerous cities list. Luckily we finished one spot better than Compton so we're not quite up to gangster status yet. This information sure does not make me feel great about raising my daughter here. If my reasons for wanting to go back to Florida weren't enough already then I can add one to the list. As evidenced by the comments to my last post we've been talking to Deb's friend about going back down there. Erica has been very helpful in giving suggestions for how we can make it happen. Unfortunately having gone through it already I know it is much more difficult than others may think. It seems that wanting something may not be enough to make it happen. I can apply for a million jobs in FL, but I can't interview for any. The costs of moving down there and setting up residence is beyond the realm of possibilities right now. I guess I'm just looking for some magical solution that isn't there. All I really want is to be happy. I know it'll be hot down in Florida, but no more hot in the summer than it is cold here in the winter. You don't see people out frolicking in the streets when it's well below zero here just as you wouldn't in 110 degree weather there. I feel like I've said all of this in here or to myself before. In fact I know I have. I guess it's just written justification for my feelings. Last time we moved down into her Mom's house (wrong move) and things just went wrong. We'll have to do it right this time. It may take time because we have no help, but if we want it bad enough we can make it happen. I can technically transfer from my current position to another store in FL after I've been working it for six months. That is still four months away. I guess I need to be patient, but I don't like waiting. When I reach a conclusion I like to just make it happen quickly. Soon our baby will be crawling but here she has nowhere safe to crawl and no kids to play with. Down there that is not the case. I have to stop writing because everything comes out looking the same, it's all I can think about. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:11:00 PM ----- BODY:

Florida talk again..

As anyone reading this may or may not know Deb and I moved to FL back in October until this April. The plan was of course to stay there, but I got stuck in a telemarketing job. The benefits of moving back here seemed to be too much to pass up. I knew it would be difficult living in my Mom's old rundown house, but it was something we could make work. We figured Deb would get her job back, my Mom could help babysit and I could get a job easier. I did get a job and Deb got hers back, but that's it. Thinking I had at least one great friend living down the street to talk to and be around occasionally, it was a plus to moving back. That friend being Chris, he has moved twenty minutes away with Sandy and is far too busy to even call back. I'm 25 years old and I'm not going to ignore a better situation for a friend that has his own life. We're not children anymore, we've both got to do what's best for ourselves. I really didn't mind it down there, I just went back and read my blog to see what I wrote back in March. Erica was going through a lot and so was Deb (3 months of vomiting) so they didn't spend too much time together. Erica has a beautiful baby and Deb would love to raise our baby (also beautiful!) alongside Erica's. We are staying here unless opportunities arise in Florida. There are three parts needed and we have one so far. We need jobs, a place, and a hand with the baby. Deb's Mom (unlike mine) is able to lend a hand. The problem is of course that we have no connections down there and no way to secure employment prior to making the move. The biggest issue living with Deb's Mom was Joe, Deb's brother. If he were not living there we'd have two of the three taken care of. I'm working to repair my credit, but it may not be sufficient to secure an apartment or rental home. If we had a connection or some help we'd be in Florida in a heartbeat. I'm getting very sick this winter so far and it's not fun. I'm so worried about the baby getting sick from me or Deb if she gets sick. That's a big factor for why we're thinking about another move. I know people reading this will think that I'm crazy and the very thought is ridiculous, but it's really not. If the conditions are right, it would be much better to live down there. Being closer to Erica would make Deb happy and if she's happy so am I. Well.. that's all I can seem to put into words right now. I'm sure nothing will change and we won't be able to do it, but I'd love to. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 9:56:00 PM ----- BODY:

Second interview.. I hate the Mass Pike..

Today I had the second interview with Comcast and I think it went very well. I will know around the end of the business day tomorrow if I got one of the eight positions that are available. I like that this company doesn't drag their feet when it comes to filling positions. Some companies take weeks to call back and weeks between interviews. One thing I hope is that they don't call if I didn't get the position. They said they'd call if I did, so if I don't get a call it is understood. I think it would just be unnecessarily awkward to have to hear that I didn't get the job and say something corny like "Well thank you for the consideration." Screw that, I'd rather not get a call at all. I like my chances. It appeared that I was the first interview of the day at 11:30 AM and they're only doing interviews on two days. How many people could they be interviewing? Not too many I hope. Only time will tell. On the way to the interview today I hopped on the Mass Pike (I-90) that essentially goes from Boston, MA to Seattle, WA. The portion of it in MA is the Mass Pike, in NY it's the NY State throughway or some crap, and so on. Well as I was going east on the pike I was running late and received a hefty speeding ticket. The limit was 65 and the state trooper said I was going 87 ($220). I don't believe I was going that fast, but I was speeding. I'm going to fight it because I have nothing to lose. They could reduce it, the officer may not show (as was the case with the ticket in VT), or I'll have to pay the full amount. It's worth a try. In my defense all I can say is that I was running late and lost track of my speed. I wasn't purposely going that fast, it was just a reaction to the importance of the interview to me. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:50:00 PM ----- BODY:

All set for tomorrow..

Figuring I lost my resume the last time we formatted, I set out to write it over. Somehow it turned up on a floppy disk so I edited it and it was ready to go. I was not sure if a cover letter was necessary, so I kind of did a hybrid cover/thank you letter. I think it came out very nicely and I'm going to pick up a little plastic cover for it tomorrow before I go to the interview. I think it's important to make a good impression with this stuff but it doesn't come easily to me. I've worked in retail all my life and never had a true career. This would be a career, not a job. Speaking of jobs, Wally World is not too bad these days. I always have the cart pushing hanging over my head, but I've been given the opportunity to do my intended position for a few days. I just hate the fact that I'm one cart pusher call-out away from being out there the whole day. Heaven forbid one actually quits, it would be my job until they hired a replacement. Being 25 now I like to think I'm at least a little above that type of job. Seeing people I graduated with kills me on the inside. It's bad enough some of them graduated college and I work at Wally World, but cart pushing? That's just salt in the wound. If I get this Comcast job I will feel like I'm headed in the right direction. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:42:00 PM ----- BODY:

Good news yet again..

Today I was driving back to work at the end of my lunch hour and I got a call on my cell phone. It was from Comcast. They want me back for a second interview (on Wednesday) at the home office I'd be working out of. All I need to do is bring a copy of my resume (work in progress), show up, and hopefully impress. I'm going out with Chris for a while, I'll write more later. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:48:00 PM ----- BODY:

Alex rolled over.. New job hopes..

This evening Alex rolled over on her own for the first time. It may not seem like that big of a deal, but she is our first child and everything is a big deal to us. I guess people who have 3 kids don't think about the little things. That's not us. :) Aside from that milestone she's been spitting, pooping, eating, and being her usual adorable self like always. The Sunday paper actually provided a decent opportunity for me this time around. On Tuesday (day off at Wally World) I'll be attending a job fair for our local cable company. They have positions available for entry level broadband installation technicians. I can do this job if I get it. I'll just have to do my best to impress and make it happen. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 9:54:00 PM ----- BODY:

Watched Mystic River and I fed Alex!

Tonight Deb put some breastmilk in a bottle and I fed Alex. It was the first time I'd ever done that and it was a unique bonding experience. She loves when I hold her and there are even times that only I can calm her by holding her, but it's not like feeding her. Deb has had that job since day one and tonight I had it. It was great. :) One of the movies we've watched recently was Mystic River. It was a decent movie, but the Boston accents drive me absolutely crazy. I'd rather hear any other accent in the world than that one. It makes no sense and sounds so stupid. If anyone reading this has a Boston accent I'm sorry, but being from the part of the state without such an accent I just can't stand it. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:07:00 PM ----- BODY:

Taking a trip up north.. maybe..

We're mulling the idea of taking a trip to Upstate NY to visit the relatives and to allow them to meet our little girl for the first time. We're looking at weather reports and trying to figure out exactly how we might be able to pull it off. It might be snowing up there a little. It's raining quite a bit here now, see:

Everything is going pretty well here at home. We need to get more pictures taken of the little rugrat soon. When we do we'll put some up here. Works sucks, but what else is new? They've basically converted me from a cashier with lots of potential for advancement to a cart pusher full time. There isn't much I can do about it but suck it up or quit. At the moment I'm sucking it up. I have to fax my resume out to a few places as soon as I redo it. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:04:00 PM ----- BODY:

Four more years.. unfortunately..

I voted for Kerry and he lost, so that part of it sucks. I'm not stupid so I know that no matter who won we'd have a lying politician in the country's highest office, but I thought that Kerry could make some good changes if given the chance. I was really looking forward to the feeling of "firing" our president. That is one thing I've never done and it would've been great. It would have been my way of saying "No, I don't like the way you've handled Afghanistan and Iraq. I believe you lied and are still lying about the situation you've gotten our men in." Even though I wasn't able to convey that message by getting the correct outcome, he can only serve two terms. It makes me wonder who'll run next for the Republicans. Maybe Jeb Bush will try for the Bush trifecta. If he can rig Florida so well, maybe he'll have no trouble with a presidential election. Alexandra is doing very well but still getting used to the idea of no more shots. If we bring her downstairs around the time she would normally be getting the shot she will anticipate it a little. Pretty soon she'll stop thinking about it, but after all the shots in the hospital and at home it's no surprise. I'm going to make every effort to update this each night. Only time will tell. Usually after I say this I miss the next day. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:35:00 PM ----- BODY:

Great news and I did my civic duty!

Today we had a hemotogolist appointment for Alexandra and the doctor told us to stop the shots! We were so happy to hear that. She's been getting them for about six weeks and it was no fun at all. There isn't much to say about that except that they're over. I talked to Chris' Dad about where our local polling place was so I could vote. It was in kind of an odd unmarked place with no signs to help you find it. I drove by it at first because I had no idea it was the place. I found it just by driving into the little apartment community and asking someone I saw. There were no crowds at 2 PM at my polling place. On the ballot was the race for president and a few uncontested races that I saw no point in voting on. I voted for John Kerry. I think we need a change and I hope he can provide that change. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 9:38:00 PM ----- BODY:

Grand opening, finally!

Today was the grand opening at work today. I got in at 7 and there were already quite a few people waiting to be let in. They let people in at 7:30 and then had ribbon cutting ceremony before allowing shopping at 8:00. You can read this news story for more information. This one is also informative, but was written before the opening. Everything went well and the day flew by. I was surprised at just how busy it was. The residents have been waiting for a big retail store there for a while. The only Wally World close by is fairly run down and is the only one within 20-30 miles. Hopefully this one that I helped build from scratch won't get destroyed, but you never know. I think the one before us is like that because it was the only such store for miles and was so heavily shopped. They never really had time to pause and clean up the mess. Deb and Alex are both doing very well. Alex still gets the shots, but they're over in a few weeks. We have an appointment on 11/2 and they may put an end to the shots. Who knows? We live in my Mom's house and it gets cold in this old house, so today we bought a nice new heater. It has a setting that will keep the rooms up here at a certain temperature during this cold winter. With Alex up here we need to keep her warm. It has features that prevent it from causing a fire and it was really cheap. I'm going to suggest that my Mom get one for downstairs but she'll probably say that the ones we have (that spark) are fine. I don't want to be awoken in the middle of the night by thick smoke. My family's safety means a lot to me. Old electric space heaters worth $30 to $40 aren't worth dying over. I have work at 7 again tomorrow so I have to get to bed soon, until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:37:00 AM ----- BODY:

Alexandra is growing.. so are my work hours..

Deb took Alex to her monthly checkup a bit late (that's the way it is with appointments sometimes) and she gained two pounds to weigh in at 12 now. She has also gotten an inch taller since birth and is now 23.5 inches tall. Things with her have been going very well, she's smiling all the time now and it's mostly at me. :) Up until recently she had always made this funny look in the place of a smile. I know it's been a long time since I posted in here and it's because of work and the baseball playoffs. My Yankees squandered a 3-0 series lead to the Red Sox, but hey that's life. I'm not going to kill myself over a baseball game that I have no control over. I wish St. Louis or Houston the best of luck in the World Series. After tonight I'll know who I'm going for in the series. Our work week goes Saturday to Friday and I have no days off this next week. I'm working 56 hours and I could certainly work much more if I so choose. I think 13 straight days of work is enough for now. I have to go, until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:29:00 PM ----- BODY:

A weekend of sleep..

This weekend will be full of tons of fun. I plan to go to sleep when I get done writing this and if I could, I would not wake up until Monday morning. I don't know what's up, but I'm overwhelmingly tired. I'm not going to complain and blame work, because it's not that bad. I played with Alex after work and I come home for my lunch hour every day so I do spend time with her. She's been kind of fussy tonight, she can't seem to eat enough and I don't participate in that. :) The Yankees game was rained out and not much else is going on. Hopefully this weekend they'll get a game or two in the books and maybe the Yankees will win two to go to the World Series. Only time will tell. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:47:00 PM ----- BODY:

Good things at work.. Picture of Alexandra..

Well today was a pretty good day at work. There was one minor issue that hopefully got resolved, but I think the good outweighed the bad on this day. I was asked by a supervisor if I wanted to be trained for Layaway and the Courtesy Booth. I know that the more I know, the easier I'm able to advance to higher positions. If Stop & Shop were a full time job I would've gotten much higher up the ladder. Full time at that place is like winning the lottery. This is full time right out of the gate and the opportunities for advancement seem to be there. Aside from that I was training others today when I was supposed to be one of those getting trained. I know more than a lot of the people training, so I ended up doing that. Overall it was a good day. Here's a picture we took last night. Until tomorrow..

I'm not holding her up at all. She's able to hold her head up straight (kind of slanted here at the moment) and high without shaking for a long time. I'm so proud of her! :) -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:53:00 PM ----- BODY:

The holidays and winter are coming soon!

Even though we just had a holiday, sort of (Columbus Day), the real holidays are coming up pretty quickly. My Brother has said that he may try to make a trip up here around Thanksgiving and Deb's Mom is planning to be here around the same time. It will be the first truly meaningful holiday in a while. Even though every day has been great with Deb, we never really made a big deal of holidays in the past. Now we have a beautiful daughter and family will be around. Maybe we can have a nice meal with everyone present. I miss the days we traveled to Upstate NY for those big meals. I've been working a lot and trying to get a decent night of sleep each day. I've been following the Yankees, of course, and they're doing well. Alexandra is doing very well but still gets those shots. I know a lot of people that know me in person visit this site and I'll do my best to keep it updated. I'm going to watch the Yankees vs. Red Sox now, Go Yankees!! Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:18:00 PM ----- BODY:

It's been a while..

I've been working a lot and haven't had too much to say on here. We found out that Alexandra's blood clot is gone, but they're continuing the shots. So it's good news, but still not great because she's still getting two shots a day. Now for something that I need to get off my chest. I hate it when people feel they have some inherent right to see my daughter. Not relatives, but friends or in this case a girlfriend of a friend. Deb stays home with Alex and really doesn't get out too much. Alex is fine in every way but she breastfeeds every two hours and spits up fairly frequently. It is just too inconvenient and uncomfortable to have people over or go bring the baby around for visits. I feel bad for a second because we're being selfish, but this is our right. If people can't understand this, too bad. I will not explain myself to anyone else. You'll see her when you see her. The reason I'm even mentioning this is because of a brief conversation I had the other night. I have nothing really against Sandra, but I shouldn't have to explain myself to her or anyone. I understand she wants to see the baby, but she rejects my reasons and I don't even need to provide her with any. She feels she is an expert on children, and I know my daughter. I don't know every child on the planet, but I know my daughter. Alex will be with us for a long time and everyone will see plenty of her. All she does is eat, sleep, poop, and cry. She's not awake very much so there isn't all that much to see. I know by ranting on about what upsets me I'll probably upset the person I'm talking about as well, but that's life. I'm too polite in person and I just can't say how I feel. That's why I have this. Over the course of this page I've upset plenty of people and there will be plenty more to come. They're just my thoughts in type. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:03:00 PM ----- BODY:

Some more pictures!!

These pictures were taken just a few minutes ago. In these she is on my chest and lifting her head up really well. You really can't tell in the pictures, but she's ahead of where most babies are at her age. I promised and I have delivered! :)

-------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:59:00 PM ----- BODY:

More movies.. Classical music.. Alexandra's medicine..

Today we watched The Whole Ten Yards and People I Know. To be perfectly honest, both were no good. I don't think I ever saw the first one, The Whole Nine Yards. Maybe that is a good thing, because this one was so cheesy and pointless. There were some funny moments, but not enough to make this movie worth more than 90 minutes of my life. As for the other one, it had Al Pacino playing a guy with an annoying fake southern accent. This movie had a decent plot, but I wasn't into it at all. Not my type of movie. These were the last two of three we received. All went back and three more will arrive in a few days. I like the way the service works, but we're using it for more movies rather than the lack of late fees. We could keep the same three forever and pay the same amount, but that would make no sense. Just recently I've started exposing Alexandra to classical music. I've heard that it can help developing minds and I kind of like it too. It's very soothing and I may just sleep to it from now on. If something as simple as this can help my child, then why not try? I know rock music won't help and this music certainly won't hurt. First let me just say that Alex is doing very well. I was playing with her all day and I love holding her. She lifts her head up so well it amazes me. I can deal with the spit up in exchange for so much joy. I know that if I ever have a bad day I can hold her and it'll all go away. Sometimes we forget what we're here for or why we're doing what we do. Deb and Alex are why I go to work, not because I like it. :) As long as I can bring that back into focus no bad mood can stand a chance. Anyway, the shots Alex gets twice a day are of an anticoagulant called Lovenox. The bottom line is that it will get rid of her blood clot. I just wish it didn't take so long. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:59:00 PM ----- BODY:

Alexandra had a nightmare.. Watched a movie..

Tonight while watching a movie Alex began to cry lightly for a few seconds in her sleep. It was brief, but it seemed as if it might be a nightmare like us adults have. That got us thinking and talking about what it could've been. At first we just thought it could be about anything at home that makes her cry. You know.. changing her diaper, giving her a bath. We were thinking that at such a young age she doesn't know much bad in life. Then I thought that the whole hospital experience must have been a nightmare for her. That and getting two shots a day for months is just re-living that each day. Hopefully she'll gain a toughness and handle it better. Actually, yesterday when I was holding her as she got her shot she didn't even cry. She was brave for Daddy. :) Tonight we watched The Prince and Me. It was about the Prince of Denmark falling in love with an ordinary girl from Wisconsin (played by Julia Stiles). The plot was predictable but interesting. I don't know anything about Denmark, so I have no idea if there was even a degree of similarity to the way it really is there. I don't watch many movies, but we're trying out a movie rental service and I may just write a bit about each one on here. It's something to talk about. :) Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:44:00 PM ----- BODY:

Small strides and the joys of parenting..

Every day that I hold Alexandra or she lays on my chest I see the little things she does. She's only three weeks old but she can lift her head on her own for a decent amount of time and a few other things. She tries to crawl but doesn't have the motor skills just yet. She's learning that for each motion or action she does, there can be movement as a result of it. For instance last night she lifted her head and tilted it towards Deb and I let her kind of roll off onto Deb's lap. She learned that something she did resulted in her moving onto Mommy's lap. She even holds her pacifier in her own mouth. She likes to lay on her side and most of the time she'll prop her head up on her own hands or arms, like a little adult. Not only is it so cute to look at, but amazing that she knows what she's doing. I get endless amounts of joy from just being around my daughter and being her father. As far as work goes things are looking up. I obviously still don't like being taken advantage of in the interest of cost savings, but that's life. I can do this or do a job that won't even put me on the schedule. Some day I'll stumble upon a good job or I'll somehow develop a connection. My friend Brian has a lot of connections. I'm not saying he doesn't have to apply every time, but most times he doesn't. No one has ever given me a job (summer jobs aside) or even lent a hand. I know I have some skills so I'll just have to go with that and hope things happen. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:35:00 PM ----- BODY:

Busy working.. Jeanne.. enjoying time with Alexandra..

Everything has been going very well here at home for a while. I hate my new job, but what else is new? I have hated a lot of jobs. If I can get through this construction crap I'll like my regular job. A lot of the tasks they have had me do were with a team and we all got it accomplished. Now they have me working alone doing some of the worst crap out there. This is just a rant, I'm not quitting and I don't need a lecture so don't even bother. If I can't rant about what upsets me on my own web site, where can I? I said from the beginning that Wally World would not be my savior in life and I mean it. I know I can handle the customers and duties of my position at the company, but I didn't sign up to be a poor man's contractor. They should pay contractors good money, but they don't. That's one way they offer low prices. Here is Tropical Storm Jeanne, hitting Jacksonville, FL among other areas in Florida. Deb's Mom lives down there and is doing okay. I called to check.

I love having Deb and Alex home. Things just click when we're all home. I don't have to get in the car and drive to the hospital to see my wife and daughter. They're in the same house! We took Alex with us shopping and everyone loved her. If she wasn't eating (breastfeeding) all the time or sleeping I'd take some pictures. Give it some time and we'll have lots of great pictures up here. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:16:00 PM ----- BODY:

A week of hard work.. Mommy and Baby are home!!

One thing is for sure, when this company (who shall remain nameless) says you're helping to put together a store.. they mean it! I have spent the past four days building everything from fitting rooms, jewelry counters, shelves, and putting up many cash registers. I'm on a team called the "Wood Group" and what that basically means is that we're "building" things. I won't whine here in my blog, but I'm pretty sore. Last night Deb and Alex came home after being in the hospital for close to two weeks. Deb is happy to finally get out of the hospital and Alex is doing very good. We had a little trouble getting the medicine for Alex first at the Stop & Shop pharmacy and then the actual hospital pharmacy. I just picked it up a little while ago and all is well. A nurse will be coming here to do her shots every day at 9 AM and 9 PM. It might move to 8, but we don't know yet. I have tomorrow off so I'm relaxing tonight and for once not going to bed early. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:03:00 PM ----- BODY:

Start of new job tomorrow.. Alex is still good..

Tomorrow I start working the new job and I guess I'm a little nervous. I'm on the team that puts things together. I wasn't asked, but they assumed I was good at this stuff. Besides a few wooden desks I actually put together nicely, I am not a very handy man. I do the lifting and my wife does the assembling usually. I could do it, but it might not come out looking like the picture and we may have a few extra parts left over. Not to mention I get frustrated when things don't go smoothly at first. Hopefully this is all pretty straightforward stuff to do. Only one way to know, do it. As far as my current job, well they're not going to know about the new job until I have time to tell them. As of weeks ago I haven't had a concrete schedule. I would call in and beg for hours. They would hand out a few and withhold enough so I didn't hit 40, even though I was hired as full time. They have stopped respecting me and giving me consideration, so I don't feel that they deserve any either. Deb and Alex have both been doing very well and they should be home soon. No news or anything different than what we already know at this point. I was there tonight with Alex sleeping on my chest while Deb took a shower. I did that and I changed her like a Dad is supposed to, and she didn't even cry. She usually doesn't like being messed with and cries when being changed. I'll keep updating this regularly. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 5:52:00 PM ----- BODY:

Got my hours for the new job..

I know I use this as a platform to talk about the latest news with Alexandra, but as of now there is none. That is good news, because lately no news has been good. No longer hospital stays, no bad news at all besides the stuff I mentioned yesterday. I have an 8-5 schedule for the next two weeks with Friday and Sunday off. I start on Monday and we're literally building the store from scratch. I'll comment on how it all goes, to a point. Gotta go! Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:02:00 PM ----- BODY:

Alex has a blood clot..

Well, because of the IV that they put in Alex's leg she has developed a blood clot in that leg. It turned purplish and they're giving her medication for it. It will also require two shots a day for two months when we get her home. They said it won't affect her stay in the hospital, but she would require these shots. They're thinking that they can just teach Deb how to do it because they don't think a nurse could come twice a day to do it for two months. This seems to be a little much, but you never question the doctors. I hate how we have to stick a needle in our baby that much because of something they caused. I guess it happens, but it's frustrating. We'll see how it goes. I have orientation all day tomorrow for the new job and I'm sure it will be long and boring, but that's life. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:57:00 PM ----- BODY:

Alex doing well.. Orientation on Saturday..

My baby is still doing well, however she is spitting up a lot again. I wouldn't say she's spitting everything up, but more than normal. The nurses and doctors are aware of it and are looking into the causes. One doctor has said that it may just be due to the medicine she's getting. I hope so because it'll be an issue we have to confront when we take her home. The only reason we worry is because prior to being on the IV she never spit up this much. We know it isn't normal for her. Hopefully that will get better soon. We'll see. I said earlier that my orientation for this new job would be this week and it is. It's on Saturday all day. I hope they don't try to brainwash me or anything. :) Of course I'm just kidding. It's paid, of course. I wonder if they offer direct deposit there? From what I've heard they pay bi-weekly so that's going to suck. I'll have to learn to deal with not having a check each week. I'd continue working this current job, but I have no idea what kind of hours the new job will have me working. I'm sure I'll be closing and that would overlap with the start of this job. We'll see what ends up happening. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:08:00 PM ----- BODY:

Finally got some sleep.. Alex still doing well..

Yesterday was a busy day and I only managed to get two hours of sleep before working overnight for nine hours. When I got home this morning I went to sleep and got about 7 hours. I feel very rested now compared to this time yesterday. I listened to some of the Yankees game in the car and saw the end in the hospital room this afternoon. They won and lead the stanky Sox by four and a half. :) I have to work the next two nights and I should be doing orientation for the new job soon. I wonder how long they'll be doing training? There's something to think about. Deb and Alex have both been getting plenty of sleep in the hospital lately and Alex is doing very well. I know my Uncle and Deb's Mom want updates by phone, but I'm afraid you guys will have to settle for reading this. Between the hours I work and try to sleep and hours everyone else works I just can't seem to time it right. Believe me, if there's anything major to report I'll call family to let them know. It's hard to work 9-11 hours, sleep a few hours, visit the hospital, and call everyone. There just aren't enough hours in the day. Soon there will be nothing to worry about except seeing new pictures. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 3:13:00 PM ----- BODY:

Baby doing well.. New job more than expected..

Alexandra is doing very well right now, no major issues. She doesn't spit up as much as she was a day or two ago. We spoke to a doctor and got all of our questions answered about her condition. As soon as they allow her to leave (the 24th I believe) we'll bring her home and resume our normal lives together as a family. I cannot wait. Today I had my third and final interview for this new job and it turned out to be much better than I expected. I'll be getting around $2/HR more than I get paid now. They're giving me lots of financial consideration for my five years of experience at Stop & Shop. I was very surprised to see the rate they want to start me at, and of course I accepted it. I went down and took a pee test a little while ago. Orientation will be this week. I'll write more later. One thing though, I won't be writing anything that could possibly get me fired. That has happened lots of times. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 3:58:00 PM ----- BODY:

Found out what bacteria it is..

Today we found out exactly what kind of bacterial infection Alex has gotten. Believe it or not, it's "Escherichia coli". Otherwise known as E. coli. You may remember the cases years ago when people consumed infected beef from a burger chain called "Jack in the Box". This particular case may've just been caused by the bacteria being in the birth canal. This article explains it pretty well: "E. coli is also an important cause of sepsis and meningitis in newborns. They can be infected by E. coli found in the birth canal." "In newborns, the first signs of E. coli may be subtle. You might see the baby develop some combination of poor feeding, pauses in breathing, a temperature that is too high or too low, irritability, or excessive sleepiness. Some babies vomit, have diarrhea, or have swollen bellies." I have put in bold the symptoms we saw in Alex, luckily she didn't experience all the others. Hopefully with time and antibiotics she'll be fine. Keep reading for more details as they become known. Today I went to an interview (which turned into two) for a job at a job I applied for a while ago. I've read stories from people who've worked there and they've been awful, but I'm sure different stores are different. Of course this job won't be my savior at all. I'm looking for something bigger and better out of life. Unfortunately I just have to endure some crappy jobs along the way. It's all about making strides in the right direction. They may not be a big deal, but anything that improves things is welcomed. We'll see how the third and final interview tomorrow at noon goes. Tune in here for the details. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 5:57:00 PM ----- BODY:

Really sleepy, a new IV..

I spent some time there today and they put an IV in her leg instead of her head. This one seems to be more comfortable now. They gave her some sleepy medicine to make putting the IV in easier and it took a while to wear off. When it did, she ate for a good long while and fell asleep in Deb's arms. Everything is going very well right now and it's all just a waiting game at this point. Wait to hear test results and wait to be able to take our sweet little baby back home. People have been leaving comments and I really appreciate them, so does Deb. I've been running around so much and spending so much time at the hospital that I haven't been keeping in touch too much, the comments let us know someone's there reading this to get the info. Stay tuned for more. I'll keep updating before work when I'm here getting ready or sleeping. It's tough to sleep in the hospital when they come in every hour to check on the baby. Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:49:00 AM ----- BODY:

48 hours turns into 14 days..

Yesterday we found out that one of the blood tests revealed that there was a bacteria in our baby's blood. Luckily a bacteria can be easily fought with antibiotics and they're doing just that. It may be a few more days until they know exactly what it is, but they know that it is a bacteria. They're saying now that they may need to keep her for 14 days, maybe 7 depending on further test results and treatment. I feel bad that she has something, but relieved that something was found and we won't be wondering forever what caused the problems she had. She's doing just fine, although the IV they have in her is not comfortable for her at all. The alternative is a shot every four hours, so it may be better for her this way. I feel bad that I haven't been communicating with Chris and Sandy enough, but I guess they just don't know to look here. Sandy is really good with babies from working with them and is anxious to hold ours. The way I look at it, she'll have plenty of time to do that. We just need to get her all better. I got a call from a job I applied for yesterday and I have an interview for the job on Monday. They're opening a new store in Chicopee and I'd be working with customers again. Wish me luck! Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:18:00 AM ----- BODY:

The latest..

Sorry no catchy title, I just want to explain what's been going on for the past day. Thursday night I went to work and Deb had fed Alex a few hours before I left. She hadn't taken a poop in a day and a half and was very sleepy. After being at work for a few hours we realized that she wasn't going to wake up much at all or have any interest in eating. I came straight home and we took her to the emergency room. Everything checked out, but she was still so out of it and not eating much. Maybe a few minutes at a time if we kept trying to keep her awake. Since that time they've started all these tests on her and are monitoring her vitals. In the first couple of hours she pooped a ton and now continues to do so regularly. Also after the first few hours she began to eat regularly and is still doing so. She is now as alert as she was when we brought her home the first time. They have given her antibiotics and that may've helped. They're still waiting on the test results to see if there is any sort of infection or virus. If she didn't have anything clinically wrong, then I guess she just mysteriously got better on her own? Either way I'll take it. I'm home at the moment for a little while. I just got back from taking Deb's Mom to the airport and I'll be heading back to Baystate Medical Center in a bit. I just wanted to try a way of informing friends and family about this situation. I have had to keep my cell phone off (you know, in a hospital) and haven't been home when people call. I've left messages with those who've called me and left them. If there's anyone who hasn't, they can get the information here. I'm forwarding the 800 number to our room, so anyone can call and reach us there. If you don't have it, call Baystate Medical Center. We're in Infants and Children, room 4161B (4th floor). Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:59:00 AM ----- BODY:

Sporadic updates for a while..

Everything is going great with Alexandra and I will be posting more pictures as I take them. For a little while now updates may be sparse. I'm working third shift and trying to manage a few hours of sleep each day before or after work when I can. This odd schedule and not wanting to type loudly at night makes it difficult to post here. I could say I'll update it each day, but then I'd miss tomorrow and look like a liar. :) One thing I can say is that we're not following conventional wisdom to the letter as far as the baby goes. I know I risk getting negative comments, but Alex sleeps in our bed a lot. In fact, far more than I do. It's hard to explain, but we have a huge bed and she gets plenty of space. I only get 2-4 hours of sleep each night on average, but neither Deb nor I toss or turn in our sleep so Alex is safe. She sleeps on her back very peacefully. At first she refused to sleep in the crib, but she does that now too. With Deb breastfeeding every couple of hours it's easier for them to sleep beside one another. Sometimes you do what works instead of what you're expected to do. :) Until next time.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 3:00:00 AM ----- BODY:

Here are some pictures..

Ignore the fact that I haven't shaved in a few days. Early picture. Deb holding her in hospital. Me holding her in hospital. Picture just now of her "poopy face". It was more pronounced shortly before the picture was taken. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 9:53:00 AM ----- BODY:

Alexandra Anne Garrand.. 9 pounds and 9.4 oz, 22.5 inches long..

Yesterday, 9/3, Deb had the baby at 6:45 PM. We went in at 6 AM for an induction and it proved to be quite a long day. If it weren't for the fact that the first epidural she received did not really work, it might've gone smoother. We got in the room about 6:30 AM so the whole process from induction to birth took a little over 12 hours. The actual labor part when Deb pushed took about 35 minutes. The second epidural worked very well and she was able to even sleep a little just before pushing our sweet little girl out. :) The whole day was very exhausting and we slept very little. At the moment I'm home doing laundry and showering. Soon I'll go get Sandy, bring her home, and come back to sleep before I work tonight. Deb's Mom is also with her right now, she was here sleeping last night. I'm really speechless and can't think of much to say. I know I wasn't the one to actually give birth, but I am exhausted both mentally and physically. I'll post pictures and more details later when I've had the chance to gather myself. Until later.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 2:35:00 AM ----- BODY:

Just a few hours to go.. Trying Linux yet again..

It's after 2:30 in the morning and I should try to sleep, but I can't. We have to be at the hospital in three and a half hours. Deb's Mom is here, we picked her up from Bradley tonight. Her flight was delayed an hour, but it was quiet and peaceful in the airport. The chairs there were actually comfortable. Everyone at Deb's work (when I stopped in to buy pancake stuff) was very interested in our situation, more so than some close friends. I can't say that about Chris or Sandy, both of them have been calling and getting regular updates. Some friends (won't mention any names) just don't have time to put into a friendship. If we don't ever talk, we're not very close friends at all. Once again I'm trying out Linux and besides a few quirks I think I've found a keeper. Yeah, I know I say that a lot and only time will tell (usually a week?), but we'll see. I'd like to dual-boot and never touch Windoze unless absolutely necessary. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no Linux geek at all. I want a functional desktop operating system. Until now I've yet to find that on Linux. What I'm using now is a freely distributed version of Xandros Linux 2.01. Even after getting some new hardware in our system and achieving what we thought was flawless stability, Windoze has continued to baffle us with random errors and blue screens. Every day I swear off Windoze and shortly after I find a reason to go back, it's like a drug addiction but I don't like it at all. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 1:28:00 PM ----- BODY:

Big news finally!

We went in for our last regular appointment today, which happens to be the due date. The doctor suggested we induce on Friday (you know, two days from now?!) and we said that was good. Let me tell you, as soon as it was decided I could feel it in my stomach. It hit me for a few minutes that now it wasn't just some random event, it's scheduled to happen at 6 AM two days from now. I guess because it's a set date and time it makes me more nervous. I could tell it hit Deb too, just by the look in her eyes. September 3rd (in all probability) will be the day Alexandra Anne Garrand is born. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:10:00 PM ----- BODY:

Reconnecting, disconnecting.. The emergence of a photo blog?

I've talked a lot about how some friends and I have disconnected lately and I mentioned briefly how I was able to reconnect with one friend. It's funny how all that works. The friend I reconnected with was Brandi. Back when I lived in Chicopee with Jay she'd stop by all the time and just hang out. One of the few female friends I've ever had where there never was any hint of dating. That's probably the best kind of female friend. After all, how many girls have I dated that I speak to now? A nice big fat zero. Brandi was from Ohio and she moved back there. It sucks that she's not here to hang out, but she's been a great help (even though she and Deb don't know each other) over IMs with things that have been going on with the pregnancy. Nothing major has happened, but she offers the advice of someone who was in the same position not long ago. With the impending birth of my first child I think this blog may turn into a photo blog. Aside from plain text blogs there are photo blogs and even video blogs. I know for a fact that much of my little girl's life will be in photos. It sounds cheesy, but I wasn't in that many photos as a kid because I was second born. You know, old hat. That leads me to think that our second child deserves just as much exposure as our first. Sure it's all new now and exciting, but when we have our second child he/she will be another wonderful gift with a whole different personality. I've posted images in the past and it's very simple to do. I can see it being the focus. We'll see what this space ends up looking like. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:15:00 PM ----- BODY:

Possible changes for this blog..

I've been thinking a lot about possible changes I could make to this blog. I would like for it to have more of a point, because posting about my boring life isn't any good. I may post links to technology articles or do opinion pieces. I'd love to hear any ideas on this subject from people. You can remain anonymous and post a comment to this post. Blogger hosts the commenting and I have no way of seeing who left which comments. I'd like to do something that takes off from the domain name, but it is kind of an odd name. Blogs today are such a good source of information, however mine is not. Unless you want to hear me whine? I'll keep that little "hamster wheel" brain of mine going, thinking of ideas. :) As far as home life it's still hot as Hades and Deb is one uncomfortable preggo. I can't blame her, I'm not "with child" and I still stick my head in the freezer every chance I get. I have to go get ready for work now, so until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 6:55:00 PM ----- BODY:

Oppressive heat today; Global warming?

I'm no scientist or anything so I won't go into detail, but the heat is absolutely ridiculous today. It's been at or around 90 all day. I guess this makes all the winter talk seem silly. It is truly amazing to me that it is just as hot as the weather in FL today. It's late August and summer is supposed to be winding down in New England. It sure doesn't help that I'm upstairs and it's 10-15 degrees hotter up here. Just to update things: Now that I'm working a lot Chris and I haven't talked much, Brian is still hanging around with Corey and we still have not talked. I guess I'm glad because I did tell Brian to please not bring Corey around. I'm sure those "pimps" have lots of girls to chase at various clubs and pool halls in the area. I don't (and never have) do any of that stuff. Maybe it's because I'm 25 now, and it definitely has to do with being married with a child on the way. I guess I never had the desire to chase skirt. :) I spoke to one of the bosses at work today and I'll most likely be working seven days this upcoming week. I did this at Stop & Shop a few times, but never under such necessary circumstances. Back then it was just because I was stepping in to help them out when others would call out. Now it's because I want and need to work as much as possible. Gotta go. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 1:43:00 PM ----- BODY:

Winter is coming soon.. Satellite Radio..

Okay, so it's 79 degrees outside right now. Why on earth am I even thinking about winter? Because here in New England there isn't much between 79 degrees and winter. Just a few nights ago it was under 50 and a little nippy. That got me thinking about just how quick winter sneaks up on us. To tell you the truth I missed winter last year. I like the cold weather. I'm not outside in it for hours at a time so it doesn't bother me. I'm just thinking about how much snow we'll get this year. We always do get some, but it varies year to year. One year we may get several good heavy storms and the next we may only get a few small ones. It sure keeps you guessing. As a general rule we rarely have snow on Christmas Day. Obviously I'm in no position at this very moment to purchase the equipment and all, but I've been reading about satellite radio quite a bit. I know my brother has invested in Sirius, but I like XM Radio's offering more than Sirius. It's less expensive each month and has more ground repeaters to spread the signal to areas where "line of sight" positioning may be difficult. That and Sirius focuses on the NFL (they preempt 17 stations to provide coverage) and I'm not a football fan. It's been fun to read messages by people that have both or one. I guess it's like comparing cell phone companies. XM is known to have deeper playlists and both sites offer previews online. Sirius has a risk-free 3 day pass and XM queues up a few hours of radio for each station as a preview. I've tried both and XM seems better to me. I'm just a technology fan. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:54:00 PM ----- BODY:

Getting used to crazy hours.. traveling more..

Lately I've been working 9-6 overnight and I travel quite a bit to the job site. It takes some adjustment to get used to getting home at 6:30 AM each day. I stay up for a little while and then go to bed until the afternoon if I can. We still have doctor's appointments and I do need to make it to the bank on occasion. Have to get the money in there by 2 PM to get in on that day. One thing is for sure, I like working more. Sure my job is boring, but it's a lot better than not working at all. Chris has a new job that he's going to start soon, but he's become too accustomed to being home all day. As much as I'd love to sleep all day and just do whatever I want at night, I'd rather work and provide for my family. Luckily for him, Chris doesn't have to support anyone but himself at this point. I'm about to take off soon and I've been watching the Yankees game. Unfortunately they're losing, but I know when all is said and done they'll be okay. Also I know that the local fan favorite Red Sox are choke artists and there's no reason to believe they'll do anything but just that this year. I have to get dressed and ready. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 12:02:00 PM ----- BODY:

A temporary solution..

Through all of my employment woes I've maintained the same full time turned part time job. It's better than nothing, of course. This week I have 44 hours with them because of a renovation contract they have with my former employer, Stop & Shop. Construction crews need several doors open overnight in the store and they need to be watched to protect against unauthorized entry. That's nine (was eight on Monday, hence 44 hours, not 45) hours a night, three nights. Three more nights at six a night and we're doing better. One thing to remember is to not stop looking because I have no idea what's in store for the future. The construction is supposed to go for six months and if I can pick up that last day, it'll make 54 hours. I really have no need for a day off. Money is more important than my own time. I have missed quite a few days here. No particular reason. Last night Chris and I played Gamecube until 2:30 AM and I went to bed after that. I hate to write in here when I have nothing positive to talk about. I could talk about my pregnant wife, but it's been very uneventful (thank goodness). We went to another appointment this morning and she's still just a one tiny cm dilated. I think this little girl of ours is going to stay in there a little longer than the due date. That's just my guess. No one really knows for sure. The doctor said everything is as it should be. No complications.. now let's keep it that way. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:51:00 PM ----- BODY:

Bad weather.. Deb's last day of work..

Last night and earlier today we had a good deal of severe weather. I witnessed the most lightning strikes ever in my life. We've had a lot of innocent heat lighting providing bursts of light in the night sky, but these were well defined bolts. I enjoy watching lightning and I like thunder except when a really loud thunderclap surprises me. The rain was heavy at times accompanied by a lot of wind. Tonight is Deb's last night of work before her pregnancy leave. The past few days she's had shifts she can do easily because she's able to sit occasionally. Obviously I'm feeling the stress of trying to find a better job, but it's nothing more than was already there. I have faith that things will work out. Why bother thinking they won't? They have to. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 8:23:00 PM ----- BODY:

Family Picnic..

No, not a traditional family picnic. It was a concert Chris and I had been planning to go to for months. I was worried Deb might go into labor, but she hasn't yet. We saw Nonpoint, Soil, Breaking Benjamin, and others. It was a good concert under the pavilion at the Meadwows Music Theater in Hartford, CT. I was trying to get Brian to come out with Chris and I but after a second thought I decided it was more important to go to work (no shit, eh?). Besides that, Brian has been too busy to bother to talk to me and Corey and I aren't the best friends these days. Corey's spending a lot of time with Brian so they'd both be going if we went. I have to go to work now, so until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:15:00 PM ----- BODY:

Getting closer to the day..

We're getting ever closer to the day Deb gives birth. It's been a long time coming and we can't wait. I see babies and little kids and it really makes me wish those days were here now. I know soon enough they will be. Since a few days before my birthday I haven't talked to Brian. He told Chris and Sandy not to bother buying a diaper genie for the shower/birthday party because he wanted to. He's online all the time, but never says a peep, so I don't either. He leaves it on so who knows if he's really there? I called him tonight, but he wasn't home. I don't know exactly what's going on with him, but I'd be willing to bet it has to do with a girl. That's usually why I don't hear from him. Ah well, he's got things going on and so do I. Also I guess this kid that used to live behind me, Corey, is in town. He's on leave from the Air Force and he stopped by Chris' house the other day. For some reason him and I aren't on the same wavelength and don't really get along too well. Not sure when that happened, but it could be when he called the police on me for my 20th birthday. That was when Jay and I shared an apartment and Jay adopted all of my friends (Corey included at the time). I guess Corey and Jay came up with the idea. I don't talk to Jay anymore either. Ah well.. friends come and go, but cheese lasts forever! :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:28:00 PM ----- BODY:

VoIP: What a fun hobby..

Some people may collect stamps, coins, or various cards. I like to use Voice Over Internet. Since way back in the days when Dialpad was free and some chats had voice capabilities I've had fun with it. These days I use a traditional phone with it and it's what I do for fun too. I tweak the settings on my hardware for the best quality and I help others get theirs going just right. I have a buddy from the DSL Reports VoIP forum who lives in Cincinnati and at the moment we're testing his line and coming up with all kinds of wacky results. In fact I just ran into an old friend online who moved back to Ohio and she has my toll free number. I hope I'll be able to reconnect with people all over just like this. Right now I'm doing my very first load of baby laundry. Deb wants to make sure that they're all good and clean for the new arrival. Somehow I think this is just the beginning of what will be a lot of loads of laundry. Every day I try to accomplish something that will make my employment situation better and I've got places to go tomorrow as well. My last post was kind of funny when I read it. At least that's the impression I got from a laughing Deb when I read it aloud to her. Maybe it was the ass cast line? I love that one. :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:51:00 PM ----- BODY:

Missed quite a few days..

To those who come to my site on occasion to read up on my daily nothings I apologize. Although life has not been too overly busy or hectic, I just haven't taken the time to write in this. Each night midnight would pass and I would say "I'll write in it tomorrow" but that next midnight kept passing. As it turned out, a few midnights have passed and now I find myself writing again. I continue to apply for jobs while not yet quitting the one I have. I'm holding on by a little string of hope each day, praying it won't break because it's all I have left right now. If it should break I have no idea what would happen. At this point it feels unbreakable because it has to be, there's no other way. I'm reading a "plain english" version of the bible at the moment, though my little mind can only absorb so much at a time. I read on and on but quickly tire of the stories it tells, true or otherwise. There are parts I find interesting, or else I would not be bothering at all. I'm really kind of tired from waking up so early to apply for jobs without getting sleep the night before. My tailbone aches badly because of this chair, I fear I may need an "ass cast". :) Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:20:00 PM ----- BODY:

My Birthday Party..

Tomorrow afternoon at 2 PM we're having my birthday party at Szot Park in Chicopee. It should be fun. There will be lots of food and hopefully people will show up. Not that Chris and Sandy are bad planners, but this whole party has been badly planned. It's just hard to get in touch with some of the people who we'd like to invite. Deb's job is the main outlet for getting the word out. Of course it's my former job as well so they all know me too. I can't wait. I can't believe I'll be 25 soon, I don't feel that old at all. I wish I had life figured out by this age, but I don't. You'd think someone like me who is friends with everyone would have opportunities coming from everywhere, but I don't. I'm doing my best to apply in person, by fax, or online to any and all jobs. People always say "Go to McDonald's" but they have to be hiring, and despite what some may think, they don't hire full time. I don't want to trade in one part time job for another and most others want me to work nights like I do at this part time job. I'll figure something out, I always have. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:38:00 PM ----- BODY:

Got a real baby registry now..

We went to Babies R Us (part of Toys R Us) today and scanned bar codes of items we'd like to have. Granted, there is no way on earth we could afford all of this stuff so it's really a "dream list". If you want to look around at the items we do not yet have, here is the link. It's late and I've had a very frustrating day. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:54:00 AM ----- BODY:

My current musical tastes..

As time goes on I discover different types of music. Lately I've been listening to Hatebreed and Slipknot a lot. One song, "This Is Now" by Hatebreed starts like this: "Another memory and I'm asking myself How can I let the past be the past. Once and for all take a hold of the future And not let it control what I aspire to have. I see where my decisions have brought me What's done is done and it's time to start again Can't let it tear me in two waste me away I gotta believe Cause this is now How can I change tomorrow if I can't change today. This is now" Another good song by Hatebreed is called "I Will Be Heard": "I've got to take my life back One chance to make it right I've gotta have my voice be heard And bring meaning to this life Cause I've trusted for nothing I've been led astray I've been tried and tested But I won't accept defeat Now I've done things I regret And its time to reverse the rules I just want to make good on all the promises that I have made I will be I will be heard I will be heard" People often judge music purely by the names of artists. Most people wouldn't think a group called Hatebreed would have these lyrics, but they do and they are discernible. Slipknot has some of these types of songs as well. There's a little taste of what's playing on my computer. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 10:04:00 PM ----- BODY:

Lost access to my own site.. Assembled the crib.. XP SP2..

For most of the past two days I have not been able to access this site or my e-mail. I've come to the conclusion that it is because of the IP address that I got from my ISP. It began with 70 and whenever I reset to attempt to get a new one I kept getting one starting with 70. For some reason my modem reset on its own a moment ago and it came back with an IP starting with 141. All is well now. Today we put together the crib. It was pretty easy to do. It's a very solid and well built piece of furniture. The slats are close together and the mattress is firm. We have all Baby Looney Tunes stuff to go inside the crib as well as some other stuff. It's our "theme" you could say. Prior to putting this together nothing around here really seemed like a baby was on the way. We re-arranged everything so the baby's room was empty and the crib part came next. I've just recently installed Windows XP Service Pack 2 and it is a pretty big improvement on SP1. I like the pop up blocking features a lot. In fact I just uninstalled it because I thought that may've been preventing me from getting to my site. It wasn't, so I'm re-installing it now. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 5:52:00 PM ----- BODY:

No luck on the DD214.. Deb's not feeling well.. Several job possibilities..

Well since the weekend has pretty much come and gone I think it's safe to say my Brother won't be able to get his hands on a DD214 form for me. I do appreciate him trying in the first place. I wasn't holding my breath by any means. These days as Deb approaches the final days of her pregnancy she is very iffy when it comes to work. Most days she clearly does not want to go at all. I guess that's normal seeing how far along she is. Today she felt so bad that she had to come home after an hour and a half. I know her last days of work are soon and it scares me a lot. I'm in limbo and she's pretty much done. I'm going to try to get my job back at Stop and Shop tomorrow, but who knows what'll happen? Today's paper had some jobs that I applied for either online or by sending my resume by fax. I hope that one of them works out but I have no idea. I still have the same part time job, but it's not enough for the long haul. I can't predict the future, but I will post it here when the future becomes the present. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:32:00 PM ----- BODY:

Stay tuned for more..

I suppose I could go on and on about how I'm so down on my luck and depressed. What good would that do, except excite those who dislike me and further bring myself down? Tonight is when I get my hands on the Sunday paper that has all the jobs. I'm confident that I'll find something soon and I have my resume out to companies all over Western MA and CT. Like the title says, stay tuned. On another note, my birthday is coming up in a week. The day before my birthday is Friday the 13th. Deb said she hopes the baby is not born that day. I'm not really superstitious like that. If you think about it, most people don't know the day of the week they were born on. I'm sure she won't be a devilish child if born on that day. :) I'm really looking forward to being a Dad. I know I say this all the time, but it's still true. I just don't think it's like anything else in the world. I get speechless just thinking about it. Until tomorrow.. -------- AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 7:53:00 PM ----- BODY:

Back to the drawing board..

I'm back at square one looking for a full time job again. Despite asking the current part time job for more hours it isn't happening. I am starting to feel the noose tighten on my neck so to speak. One part time job will not support three people, especially a baby. I'm not totally lost at this point, but I'm getting there in my mind. I've got to go now. Until tomorrow.. --------