AUTHOR: Scott G DATE: 11:17:00 PM ----- BODY:

Time away, thinking..

I needed some time away from posting in this blog. First of all some friends and family substitute it for contact with me. If you read my blog, you know what's going on with me but it's not the same. That's not even a reason I stopped for almost a week. I guess I stopped thinking of it as a priority with so much other stuff going on. I struggled with thoughts of quitting my job. I'm not happy with it, but I can't just quit. I decided to "man up" and do the right thing. I'm sticking it out until I find something else. There's too much riding on me having a job to just quit. I guess I got caught up in my contempt for the job. Mix in the fact that we're flat broke, about to move out, and Deb's sick a lot. I just can't seem to manage even a little twinkle of happiness out of my life lately. Yes I have a baby coming and thinking about that helps. I'm seriously doing a lot of moping and straining to find any meaning to this life I lead. I know things will get better, but at the moment they're not good. I am really truly unhappy with how my life has been lately. If it weren't for this baby coming soon I'd feel worse. I love Deb, but it's frustrating to go to work all night and have to tend to her for hours afterwards. I have no problem helping a big jolly pregnant woman, but she's not even showing yet. She's a lot more able bodied than she wants to be. The fact that she doesn't want to work has snowballed into a cripple-like state. I just don't know what it's going to take to be happy with my life. The quotas at work are bearing down on me, they're going to be much higher next month. I'm finding it tougher and tougher to call these people unsolicited every night. I need to end this. Until next time.. --------